5 Ways to Make Your Student Indifferent to God

5 Ways to Make Your Student Indifferent to God by Mark Cox

In youth ministry, one of the hardest things I’ve had to experience is leading students into a growing relationship with Jesus, while their parents are doing the opposite. In a lot of cases, the parent wants the best for his/her teenager. It’s just that their definition of “best” might not match up with mine. There are some hard-and-fast rules to engage if you don’t want your teenager to care about God. The following are just a few.

1. Make sure their extra-curricular activities are priority over church. You should always make sure that their scholarships are intact, and that they don’t get kicked off the team. That’s definitely more important than their relationship with Christ and eternity, for that matter.

2. When your teenager screws up, ground them from church. Of course! If they don’t care that you take away their TV, cell phone, or friend time, hit them where it hurts. Take away church. Yeah – that oughta do it.

3. Don’t call them out when they need guidance. Always let them make their own mistakes. And if they’re about to do something super-destructive, it’s probably best that they learn on their own. Because learning it the hard way is always the necessary path, right?

4. Talk negatively about your church staff around your teenager. If your pastor messes up, make sure that you call a family meeting to roast him. You should definitely let your teenager know that people can’t be trusted, especially incompetent church leaders. Your teenager needs to know that trusting church leaders isn’t smart! If they don’t trust church leaders, there’s a small chance they’ll ever accept God’s direction in their life. And that’s the safer way to live.

5. Don’t model real faith. At the end of the day, the last thing you want to do, if you want your teenager to ignore God’s voice, is to follow it yourself.

Please know my heart on this issue. We parents need to be leading our families to Jesus every chance we get. Maybe it’s time to take inventory of who or what we’re actually leading our families to.

After all, actions speak louder than words.

Mark Cox is the Student Pastor at Indian Springs Baptist Church. Stalk him at his blog www.thinknextnow.com or on Twitter @markhcox.

Cell Phones and Students

Have you every fought over cell phone usage with your student...i.e. overage charges, excessive texting? Cell phones are very helpful but we need to always remind our students that what can be a great attraction can be a great distraction for both parents and students. It can distract us from relationships, time with God, etc. This short list may help you as a parent in working though cell phone trials.

A few ways to protect your student from a cell phone meltdown:

1. Discuss the potential issues and ramifications of inappropriate texting. Once things are sent there is no getting them back. It is posted forever!

2. Remind them that cell phones and even computers are a privilege and not a right. (I can remember when no one had a cell phone...scary) Set up random checks of texts and websites visited.

3. Consider cell phone curfews. Have your student turn in their cell phones at night.

4. Talk with your student often. Be there for him/her. They need you and they need to be able to talk openly with you.

5. Pray for and with your student. Lifting up your concerns and fears to Jesus is still your most powerful tool.

Are there set rules in your home about cell phones?

Are there specific limits, boundaries, and consequences?

by the way this is our 100 post! Bells and whistles, and streamers can now commence.

Parent : Student Discussion

The discussion is set up to help parents and students to talk about what was talked about in rpm. I believe this could provide for some great discussion. If you decide to use it, let me know what you think. This is just another resource to help you connect as a family. Enjoy!

Real Talk

This week’s study deals with preventing spiritual collapse. All of us probably know someone who once seemed to be spiritually strong, but now is far from the Lord and in a mess. During rpm we talked about several steps that led to Peter’s failure. We will take some time to talk about how to keep it from happening to us. An important concept needs to guide our thinking, It is this: For a Christian, spiritual collapse is never a blow-out, it’s always a slow leak, Even if it appears that someone just suddenly messes up by having an affair or committing a crime, there are always steps leading up to it.

Set the stage, then read Mark 14:27-51, 66-72.

1. Have you ever made a major mistake and then wondered how you could have been so stupid? (Think about a personal story to tell, then let your student share some of their stories. It might be a blown play, a “dumb” relationship, a forgotten assignment, or whatever.)
2. Why are we often blind to our faults or mistakes until it’s too late? How is it that we don’t prevent more mistakes than we do?
3. Spiritually, what sins do people often commit without seeing their mistakes –or the consequences—until it’s too late?
4. Why do you think Peter so grossly overestimated his spiritual strength? One minute he was ready to die for Jesus, the next he was denying him. Why?
5. What similar tests come our way that expose whether or not we’re as strong spiritually as we may claim?
6. What tips could you have given Peter for maintaining his spiritual strength?
7. If a person has already had a major spiritual collapse, how can they recover? How did Peter come back?
8. How does accountability fit into a plan for preventing spiritual collapse?
9. How can we work together to keep ourselves growing and spiritually fit?

All Pro Dad

I read an article in today from LifeWay's Living With Teenagers magazine. The article was highlighting Tony Dungy. He has been a very successful coach and father even through the lost of one of his sons. The article shared 10 principles that I believe are excellent for fathers. I hope you will begin to put these in play in your lives at fathers.

10 Ways to be an All Pro Dad

1. Love Your Wife
2. Spend Time with Your Children
3. Be a Role Model
4. Understand Your Children
5. Show Affection
6. Enjoy Your Children
7. Eat Together as a Family
8. Discipline with a Gentile Spirit
9. Pray and Worship Together
10. Realize You're a Father Forever

Live these out and you will make a huge impact in your kids' lives. Let's make a difference.

Ways to Connect with Students for Leaders

Time outside the church with students can be one of the greatest times of relationship development. Josh Griffin on his blog this week had a guest blogger with some great ideas about how to connect with students outside of church. Parents can even use this to get involved in their student's lives. These 12 ways to connect are divided into three main categories, each category moving to a deeper level of relationship.

Ways to meet new kids and hang out with current youth group kids
1. Volunteer coach a sport at a local school – Coaching gives you a chance to meet dozens of kids. I had the opportunity to coach track this past Spring and I still have kids who call or text me for advice or just want to talk.
4. Tutor for free – Some schools have after school tutoring, volunteer for that in a subject you know well.

Connect and develop relationships with kids
5. Ride with a sports team to away games – Great idea from the guys over at YL Help
6. Help a student work on a project or hobby – Especially helpful during science fair season, or other big school projects. Participating in their personal hobbies are great ways to connect, too.

Disciple kids/transfer life skills to kids

11. Invite a student to help you lead a certain event, then evaluate it afterward – This is a great way to transfer leadership skills through hands-on learning. For example, I invited one kid to help me lead a video game night, asking him to consider “What do video games have to do with Jesus?” During our debrief time (which ended up going just as long as our video game time) we talked about video games as a means to build relationships and how relationships are key to evangelism and discipleship. I bet he learned more through that experience than any youth talk.

12. Be a student of God and invite a kid to learn with you – Pray with a kid, or listen to a sermon together, or read the Bible together. Be an avid learner and invite kids along to learn with you.

There are plenty of other ways to connect with kids. How are you planning to develop relationships with kids this new school year?

Nick Arnold is the youth pastor at New Hope Community Church in Sunland, CA. Hit up his blog at http://ministryallies.com and his Twitter @nickarnold.

Click Here to see the complete list. Tons of great ideas.

Student Drop Out Rate and How Parents can Help

One of the most disturbing things about church is how fast students are leaving "it" after they graduate from high school. The topic of student drop out is huge in the student ministry sector. If you haven't heard about this problem before I want to enlighten you about this problem. I feel at this point parents have the greatest ability to help break this trend. I believe as we partner together to help students learn how to know what they believe, serve others, share their faith and disciple others person this epidemic could be overrun. Check out this article about how parents can make a difference in this fight.

Is this the first time you have heard about this problem?

How does it make you feel as a parent or student?

Have you seen this happen to anyone you know?

Reason's to Come to the Parent.Student Connection

Reasons to Come to the Parent.Student Connection

• Free Food
• Great Conversation
• Find Out More Info about 72students
• Get the Inside Scoop
• Get to meet the fuel leaders
• Get to meet the other leaders
• Get to meet other parents and students
• Learn more about your student(s)
• Vision for the future
• Programming Info

If any of these interest you please come. No reservations necessary unless you need child care. Go to 72students.net to find out more.

Parent:Student Connection Cookout

Parent:Student Connection Cookout

Date: August 9th

Time:5-7pm

Location: The two-story building on The Brook Campus

For More Info: Call Josh Britt @ 837.6633 ext. 107 or check out 72students.net

The Parent:Student Connection is to help parents and students to connect and understand more about our student ministry and each other. We will be sharing some of the upcoming events that are going on as well as resource parents with materials to help them grow closer to their students. This event is for the whole family. We will provide dinner and a great time together. Childcare is provided free of charge for kids 6th grade and under. Childcare must be made in advance by emailing josh@thebrookchurch.com or by signing up online at 72students.net. This will be a great time for us all to connect with each other. I hope you and your family will make it.

10 Commandments of Purity

Here are ten great things for dads and moms to help keep their marriage pure and on the right track.

The 10 Commandments of Purity

1. I shall have no other human relationship before Michelle, including our children.
2. I shall remember our date night and keep it holy.
3. I shall honor Michelle on anniversaries and special days so that I may live long in the land the Lord has given me.
4. I shall not take the covenant of marriage in vain.
5. I shall not ride in a car or eat in a restaurant alone with a member of the opposite sex.
6. I shall not travel alone.
7. I shall not counsel a woman with the doors closed.
8. I shall not share the details of our marriage with others.
9. I shall not watch, read or expose myself to sexually explicit shows, books, websites, etc.
10. I shall remember the implications of committing adultery.

excerpt from Ed Young Jr. Blog

Are there any commands you would add to this list?

Tips for Parents and High School Grads

Tips for Parents and Grads

Right now many students are preparing to head off to college away from home. Below are a few tips for parents and students as they prepare for departure.

Tips for Parents

1. Arrange time for goodbyes

encourage your student to spend some extra time with siblings. This can be a great time to take a trip together.

2. Make lists and go shopping

Help your student(s) think through their needs when they leave. Go shopping together. This can be a great time of bonding before they leave.

3. Communicate confidence

Many students can seem very confident but can be struggling inside with fear. Instill in them confidence in their abilities both past and present. Remind them of past victories in their life, especially when they thought they might fail.

Tips for Graduates

1. Walk a mile in their shoes.

Remember this is hard for them. Your parents will be struggling with confidence that they prepared you well. They have guided you for 18 years and it can be a little scary for them. Keep that in mind as you prepare to leave.

2. Look forward to family goodbyes

These last few months can be very meaningful before you leave. You will want to spend time with all your friends before you leave, but don't forget about spending time with family as well.

3. Be others-focused

Everything can begin to focus around you...when are you leaving...when can we get together...etc. It can be easy to become self-centered. Make sure you keep your focus on others. This is the Jesus Principle.

Hope these are helpful for you as you prepare for the great departure. We love seniors!

keep talking.

Texting Crazy

Do you every feel like all you do is text? Or at least that is all your students does? Check this article out. it has some great info for you as a parent. Have you noticed any changes in your student as they have started texting.

What is the average texting rate per month for your student or even yourself as a parent? 

questions for families

We want to know how we can help you as families. Here are three questions that can help us understand how we can help your family.

Three Questions:
1. What’s going on in your family and your kid’s life right now that would help me and the youth leaders know how to best work with your student?
2. How can the student ministry support you and your family better?
3. How are YOU doing spiritually right now?

If you will email your responses to josh@72students.net

Parent Only Session from Wednesday, February 18

Notes from the Parent Only Session minus the answers to the questions from Josh and Michelle. I'll try to post a somewhat shortened response to each of those questions later. Some of the stuff we didn't even get to due to time.

Parent Only Session

(Josh) Share Stats
(Michelle) Share what questions kids asked

(Josh) Who is responsible for teaching your kids about sexuality/sex?

Group Question:
What are some of the sexual lies you’re kids’ are exposed to?

GREAT AND GODLY SEX STARTS BETWEEN THE EARS BEFORE IT’S BETWEEN THE LEGS.

When (the devil) lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44

(Michelle) What are your students learning relationally/spouse, our bodies and others, and media?

Media is wrecking the family.

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. John 8:32

WHAT SATAN DOESN’T WANT YOUR KIDS TO KNOW ABOUT SEX

• YOUR BOD BELONGS TO GOD.

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body… 1 Corinthians 6:13

porneia (por-ni'-ah); illicit sex including adultery, incest, premarital sex, or any extramarital sexual arousal.

Big Idea:
Purity is the pathway to intimacy!

(Michelle) Do I tell them about my past?

WHY STAY PURE?

1) SEX IS STICKY.

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." 1 Corinthians 6:15-16

2) SEXUAL SIN IS MESSY.

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18

(Josh) What if my child has made a mistake?

3) SEXUAL PURITY IS AN ACT OF WORSHIP.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind… Romans 12:1-2

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me…Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalms 51:10, 12

When our view of God increases our desire to focus and worship him increases.

(Michelle) Talking about sex/sexuality is a process – not a “talk”, must revisit in over and over.

Commit to pray.

Question:
What can you do today to better worship God with purity?

Internet Security for Parents and Students

Here is some of the info from our parents only sex talk on wednesday night. comment if you have any questions.

Safe Eyes is one resource that we highlighted. Safe Eyes is a monitoring software that has tools for both personal and mobile devices. You can check out more info at Safe Eyes

Here is another resource that a family in our church uses. It has some great stuff.
Here's what we're doing at my house instead of using Safe Eyes. On my
wireless router, instead of using knology's DNS servers, I'm using
OpenDNS's DNS servers (check them out at ). If
you open a free account with them, you can tell them to not allow adult
sites. If someone at my house tries to go to an adult site, they will
get a "blocked" message in their browser.

There are advantages and disadvantages to using OpenDNS vs. Safe Eyes.

Pros:
- OpenDNS is free
- You go to 1 place to handle all computers, laptops, PSPs, iTouch
iPods, etc. that use the wired/wireless internet in your house.

Cons:
- OpenDNS is not monitoring software - you can't monitor what your kids
are saying with IMs, on FaceBook, etc. (However, you can completely
block MySpace/FaceBook/etc. if you would like.)

You could also combine the two - use OpenDNS to block adult sites and
use Safe Eyes to monitor everything else.

check this resource out at OpenDNS

Comment and let us know if you decide to use any of these or if you know of any other resources.

Parent SEX Talk

Wednesday night we are hosting the parents during our wednesday night worship gathering for students. It will be an amazing time. Make sure you get your parents there. Doors open at 6pm and ends at 8:15pm. Don't worry students you will be out of the room while Michelle and I are talking to your parents, so breath a sigh of relief and invite them to be there. See you wednesday night!

Article for Parents

Or one you should make your parents read. It is tough to be a parent! Parenting is a crazy and an exciting ride. A great article was published this week about mentoring your student. It provides some great insights and instructions for parents. Check it Out Here!

Don't Forget Parent.Student Connection

Don't forget the Parent.Student Connection this Sunday at 12:30pm. I hope you will all make it. Even if you didn't RSVP come anyways. It will be a great time of challenge, encouragement, and information. We have several big announcements. I hope you will make this a priority!

Sex and Drug Use Among Students

There was a great article about Sex and Drug use among students and how the family plays a huge role in this. Whether you realize it or not, parents play a significant role in whether a student will have sex and how much and will they start taking drugs. Churchrelevance.com summarized these findings very well. It is well worth the read. Family Interaction Reduces Teen Sex and Substance Use

Does your family eat regularly together?
Does your family go to the church together?
How often do you talk with your parents/students during a week?

What P.A.T.H. are You Creating for Your Kids-Part 2

Here is the second half of the article by Justin Hilliker, God’s P.A.T.H. for parenting: part two. This is a must read for all parents and future parents. He closes the article out by hitting the last two letters in P.A.T.H., Training and Helping.

Click the Link to Read

What ways are you training your children intentionally?
How are you helping students to develop godly habits?